Posted by: begraceful | April 20, 2011

Contemplation

I think that I think too much. That statement kind of proves itself. I tend to overanalyze everything in life but lately I’ve been thinking more about what I should be doing in life. ‘They’ say that you should do what you love. Reading zen habits the other day, he suggested figuring out how to make money by doing what you love. While I’m still trying to figure out what it is I love exactly, I am afraid of what it would take to make it viable. Out of college I went to an ad agency like many ad grads did. Some of us were quite unhappy. Some just complained and complained, one in particular started studying to be a nurse and others took the opportunities put in front of them by a layoff and started businesses. I took a different route last year and planned to move to a new area, state even! I do feel successful in the fact that I did it. I quit my job, was hired and moved to Florida and started my new job. Even the most well laid plans can go awry… our house in Texas didn’t sell, I didn’t love the job and it wasn’t worth stressing my marriage over. So I moved back with mixed feelings. Sad that it hadn’t worked out as I had planned and sad that I was leaving my parents there. I was happy to be back under the same roof as my husband! I had missed my friends and the comfort of knowing this city, the roads, restaurants and places to explore. Still, I was disappointed that I had taken that risk and yet I was back to Texas and unemployed. Granted, I did find a new job relatively quickly. And it’s true we mitigated the risk as best we could. I didn’t have an apartment lease in Florida to break and didn’t spend a bunch moving a bunch of stuff across the country. I was also hired twice within a few months at the worst time for unemployment this decade. I was actually very lucky to be able to do it all. I just hope I’m willing to take risks like this in the future when I figure out what to do and love.

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